36 weeks pregnant

I am 36 weeks pregnant and 6 days. I wake up this morning uncomfortable as usual but with a bright spot of hope regarding the day as I had approval to work from home today. We were going to see if I could make that work for the next week or so. I had the tech guy come in yesterday at work to show me how to make the laptop plug into the UOP systems and I was all set.
I sleep in an extra 45 min and then roll over out of bed and take my time eating breakfast, looking out the window, feeding the dogs and then I am pretty much prepared for the day. I was so happy this morning, I should have known to prepare myself. I pull out my computer and do EXACTLY what the Tech guy said to do. Nothing. Can’t log in. Okay, so I fiddle around on the computer (pretty much just pushing random buttons thinking I might get lucky) and then cave and call the Tech guy at work. He helps me log in and we hang up. I get into the system and it all looks great. I just about get the system to work and then – BAMB – my battery goes dead and the computer shuts off. (Sigh) I now HEAVE my massive girth off the couch and dig up the power cord and set it all up again. I am not too worried at this point as the Tech guy showed me what to do and I know I can do it. So I do the same thing. Nothing. Nada. Can’t log in again. Again, I call Tech guy. Can he get me in this time? Of course not.
I spend the next THREE hours on hold with DSL-Yahoo, fighting with DSL-Yahoo, and basically wasting my time. The nasal sounding 12 year old girl on the phone kept telling me politely she couldn’t help me and then she would go into a long stream of computer jargon that might as well been Japanese as I couldn’t understand it. She might as well just said that my Flux Capacitor was broken and that is why we couldn’t break the time continuum. I was so frustrated at this point that I believe I started stuttering and spittle was flying from my foaming mouth onto the phone. This may have happened as the black void of rage was consuming me at this point so who knows what really happened. I can tell you that at some point in that conversation my hands swelled up to twice their size.
I am sitting down and realizing that what I really need to do now is drive into work to get something done. But then I realize that my husband, never one to miss a window of opportunity, had scheduled the maintenance man to come in to see what was wrong with our upstairs A/C. So I am trapped in the house and can’t leave until this happens. I also have a doctor appointment that I have to make so there is NO WAY I am going to make it into work before 5pm.
I am attempting to make the best of life and think that I will begin cleaning. The house needs TONS of things done before the baby gets here and this is apparently my ‘golden opportunity.’ This is where I start to get confused. I keep moving and I’m re-arranging the piles of crap that are EVERYWHERE in the house but mysteriously nothing seems to be any cleaner. I keep this up for 2 hours and I have to tell you that I really can’t see that anything got done.
The A/C man gets here and announces that he needs to turn the A/C off to work. It is 110degrees and HUMID in the Dallas Summer heat. He shuts off the A/C and then begins to fiddle with the unit. At first it wasn’t so bad, but the house is big and the cold air is precious. It didn’t help that he kept going in and out and forgetting to shut the door behind him. I’m guessing he was raised in a barn. So an HOUR and a HALF later, I am a sweating, heaving, non-productive, swollen up mass of frustration. He has me sign his bill and goes on his merry way. He still forgot to shut the door on his way out.
I now have a little under two hours to get showered, dressed, and into downtown Dallas for my doctors appointment. Now, this would sound do-able but I’m extra slow these days and everything is in super slow motion. The house is now 90 degrees. I finally drag on my one pair of pants that fit and my one of two shirts that fits over my massive breasts and waddle to the door. My hair is in wet strands around my head as who is going to turn on their blow dryer in a 90 degree house. Certainly not me.
I had forgotten that I had moved my dogs into the big yard so they wouldn’t jump on the A/C man. I make the mistake of just opening the gate and assuming they will follow me into the yard they need to be in. I didn’t look around to notice some poor lady was walking her dog in the ally behind my house. But my dogs certainly did. They were on this poor lady and dog faster than I could even get turned around. I spend the next 15 min yelling at my dogs, running (well, fast waddle) after my dogs and apologizing to my neighbor. I have to wrestle both the wild hyenas into their yard one at a time. My pug had morphed into a Tasmanian devil. At this point, I am dripping sweat again and who knows – maybe I peed myself again. At this point I’m not wondering if I stink – I know I stink.
I glance to my car and realize that my right front tire is flatter than road kill. I have no words to express to you what I was feeling at this point but I can assure you it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t pretty and it certainly wasn’t funny. So I get in the car and drive the block to the gas station to fill up my tire. I have exactly one dollar on me and I pull up to the air pump and plug in my 75 cents for air. So again, I am 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant and swollen up so much that I can not close my hand into a fist. I now have to SQUAT down low to fill up my tire with air. This is impossible. Next I attempt to bend over. Nope – can’t do that either as it cuts off my air and I can’t breath. I don’t want to sit on the ground as these are my ONLY pair of pants that fit and if I ruin them – I have to go buy some more. I attempt to lean against the car and reach down to fill up the tire. I almost can reach….just a little further……BAMB. I slide down the side of the car and land on my butt on the nasty ground. Okay, I’m here, I might as well fill up the tire. I fill her up. Getting up off the nasty ground was almost a production in itself. I have nothing to hang on to so I have to flip myself over onto my hands and knees (yes, new pants are a must at this point) and CRAWL to the pump to HEAVE myself up with the gas pumps.
I am a sweaty mass of nastiness with dirt marks on my butt, my knees and all over my hands. I get into the car and drive to my doctors appointment. I barely make it and realize that I’m not seeing my regular doctor – I’m getting to meet another doctor for the first time. (sigh) Okay, bring it. So I wait in the office. Wait. Wait. Wait. She finally comes in and the FIRST thing out of her mouth is that I tested positive for some STREP bacteria and will have to be on antibiotics when I give birth so I don’t give Alaina pneumonia. WHAT? ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT PERSON? I actually ask to see my chart as I don’t believe she is speaking about me. So I’m sitting there, trying to be brave, and all I can think of is that I am a bad mother as I might pass some bacteria on to my infant child. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
THEN she tells me that they need to do a sonogram on me as the baby feels breach and they will have to schedule a C-Section if she shows breech on this test. WHAT!! ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT PERSON? I haven’t read ANYTHING ON C-sections and I CERTAINLY don’t want to have one. I’m thinking to myself all the time I’ve spent planning what I was going to do in the labor and delivery room. I can’t breastfeed right away the way I am supposed to if I have a C-Section. This means the baby will have to get a bottle and then she’s going to have nipple confusion and not get the benefits of breastfeeding and WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO NOW?? DOES THIS LADY KNOW I BOUGHT A FREAKIN’ BIRTHING BALL??
So she goes out of the room to set up the Sonogram. It takes like 20 min and the ENTIRE time I have big fat tears running down my face and snot dripping out of my nose. I keep trying to pull myself together but I keep thinking that I am a terrible mother, I’m not prepared, I can’t get anything done right, my house is a mess, none of the baby stuff is organized, I don’t have everything I need yet, I keep wetting myself, I can barely breathe, and I WANT MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the doctor finally comes back in and does the Sonogram. THANK GOD Alaina is where she needs to be. Apparently she has a good sense of direction and her head is exactly right and she is not going to be breach if she stays right where she is. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
So now I leave and am thinking that I need time to pull myself together so why not go to Discount Tire and get my tire fixed for free before I go into work. God I’m stupid. I pull into the Discount Tire and verify that I can have this done for free. So I wait. Wait. Wait. Read a magazine. Wait. Wait. Dang these chairs are hard. Wait. Wait. Wait. “Ms. Edmondson, we have a problem.” Okay – THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. Mr. Tire Man proceeds to tell me that my little 1 mile drive to the store to get air in my tires has RUINED my tire and I NEED TO BUY A NEW ONE.
I lost my shit right in the middle of Discount Tire. I had had enough. I started sobbing and sobbing and crying and sobbing and heaving. My entire body was just heaving from the massive amount of emotion that was pouring out of my body. I had to struggle to get a breath between the sobs it was so bad. I know I looked just like those trailer park people that sob on the News Camera when the tornado blows their house away. I mean, it was horrible. The day had just given me all I could take in at that moment.
These poor trucker dudes that were in the lobby with me were just as horrified as I was. I think one just left and another man just broke down with me and attempted to pay for me to get a new tire. Finally Mr. Tire Man couldn’t take it either and he just started stammering and told me he would replace my tire with a used tire that would be just as good and that it would be free. I was finally able to get myself at least to stop the heaving and sobbing and Mr. Tire Man all but threw my keys at me in his rush to get me out of there. IT was HORRIBLE and HUMILIATING and pretty much one of the funniest things that have happened to me all at the same time.
Can’t wait until tomorrow……
*Note from 2015 – I ended up having a C-Section.

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