No one gets to visit Vaginaville with just a nod.

I read a funny article regarding male habits women don’t know about. Most of it was gross bathroom practices that I can assure you that we DO know about. We know about it and are appropriately disgusted by the vast and nefarious wrongdoings you commit in there.

The really interesting tidbit was regarding the Male Nod of Mysterious Communication. According to the author the Male Nod of Mysterious Communication is undefinable. It’s undefinable, yet all men know exactly what it means and it conveys massive amounts of information in a single gesture. Wars and feuds have been started and stopped with the skillful and artful use of the Male Nod.

I was intrigued. So I started paying attention.

Since I read this article I’ve been to a black tie gala, a very intense gun class, multiple kid birthday parties, church, a safari park, soccer practice, the gym, the grocery store, fancy restaurants, an arts and crafts fair, and an Irish pub on Saint Patricks day.

It is a testosterone infused, bobble head convention out there. The Male Nod of Mysterious Communication is real. It is real and it seems to communicate a simple, yet obviously important, message that all men need from each other.

I see you, you see me. I respect you, you respect me. I approve of what you are doing. I’m not going to mess with you, you are not going to mess with me.

And that’s it. That seems to be the magic message that all men communicate to each other each and every time they see another person with a penis.

I did see two women nod to each other but the message they seemed to be communicating was more along the lines of, “Go fuck yourself Bitch, you walk towards me and I’ll pull your hair out by the roots and then kick your teeth in with my stilettos.” Not quite the same message. In fact, the exact opposite message.

The Vaginaville Nod is a lot more dangerous than the Male Nod of Mysterious Communication.

If that really is the totality of the communication a man needs to be 100% simpatico with another person, then women have pulled the biggest scam since we all evolved to walk upright.

friendsNo one gets to visit Vaginaville with just a nod. Hours, days, years of communication must be invested by all that exist in, around, or near it’s boundaries.

Books have to be read, classes taken, therapists visited, tests evaluated, personalities charted, motives broken down, cultures taken into consideration, childhoods assessed, world-views overlapped, the gender war, and education levels factored in. A nod just isn’t going to cut it.

But that’s the whole point, right? Not just being okay with one another, but being understood.

venn-diagramI love it when a couple or a friend discusses their relationship and they sum up the relationship with, “They just get me.”

That’s really all we are looking for, right? Someone to ‘get’ us.

It’s like we are a Venn Diagram and we search for the people that are the right ratio of similarities. It can’t be too similar or it’s irritating. Too little and you fall into the acquaintance or friendly stranger category. Or worse, the I loath the air you breath and wouldn’t throw water on you if you were on fire, category.

tribeNormal isn’t even real. The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well yet. Our lives are one big hunt to find our special brand of normal. Our tribe. The people that are weird and disgusting in the way you are weird and disgusting. People that are interested in the things we are interested in. Willing and excited to join us in the things we are excited about.

You find your tribe and then you spend a lifetime communicating to keep and cherish them.

Mmmm….or do we.

Did we pull the biggest scam of the century on the men? Did we persuade them to care about these deep levels of understanding or do they just love us enough to fake caring about it?

Marriage: I think I got it…But just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn’t listening.

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