Red Rover, Red Rover let the fat man come over.

My Night Before Christmas
Every year on the night before Christmas, kids run screaming through the house, everyone is cranky -especially my spouse.

No hope to stay home for the holidays, it’s true. Responsibility and family force us to create our holiday memories slightly askew.

We spend holidays stuffed tightly into Granddads house with no room to spare. I always have high hopes that the liquor will help me not to care.

The children will be running through the house acting crazy. Pumped full of sugar, bed time will be far in the future and I have no dreams of being lazy.

I’ll be in the kitchen for hours that night. “Helping” my kids make cookies for the fat man’s delight.

How the heck is Santa going to eat this spread? I was already eating tums, looking towards the night with dread.

Little hands in the dough, on the floor, on their bum: These cookies have flavor, pizazz – Where’s my rum?

Granddad in the recliner telling the kids awful stories. Of ailments, pains, medications – it’s quite the inventory.

My husband is doing what he can to relax. In his head he is already piling the luggage into neat stacks.

As the kids finally wind down, and I settle them down for some sleep. New family arrives and I say BLEEP, BLEEP!

I start drinking in earnest, the night will never end. Oh No – let’s all visit. People without small children just can’t comprehend.

So up jump the children to investigate the clatter. Springing from their pallets like gunshot splatter.

Away from the beds they flew like flash, tearing away my dreams of sleep in one small dash.

The glare from the lights blinking a bright red and green, start a twitch in my eye and add a maniacal glean.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear my mom’s voice of reason still mixed with holiday cheer.

Dear family, it was time to depart. Keeping the children up this late is just not smart.

Less rapid than turtles, but still they departed. So off to bed, my children I carted.

Goodbye family, Good night children. Tuck in tight it’s time for the business of the night.

Visiting hours in this nut house are over. Red Rover, Red Rover it was time for Santa to come over.

Children listening and hoping, I’m just happy to sleep and Blake is already snoring.

Christmas is the time of year for family, drinking and stress. But I’m so very happy because I’m so very blessed.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a (stressed) blessed night.

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